HOPE

My heart is leaping with so much joy and understanding.. truly everything that is good and pure comes from God. This past weekend, I was emotionally drained and moving towards depression.I was angry and frustrated..I had not felt this way for the longest time..especially since this year began. I had made a decleration that this year I was not going to hold back.. that no circumstance negative or bad would take me captive.
People would ask me "why are you so positive? Its okay to be "real" sometimes.." Well, Ive come to decision that I rather speak faith.. or meditate on what is good..keeping my faith ignited.. despite what I see. Last weekend that decleration was challenged. For literaly three days.. I was super sensitive, angry.. emotional.. a wreck! I rememeber speaking to my younger sister.. expressing my frustration.. she encouraged me to press on.. and to continue my walk..knowing that its normal to feel drained..but ddont give up. When my mom came home, she was talking with me.. and I just started crying.. she said "Tasha, its okay to cry..you wineskin is just being stretched. See what you need to change.. how you need to respond. The only bad thing that could come out of this moment in your life.. is for you to JUSTIFY the way you are feeling by making up excuses.. and not changing". When she was saying that.. I didnt want to hear it.. I wanted to cry.. I wanted someone to hold me..and give me what I felt I needed at that very moment.

In the midst of my emotion, I knew that God was still speaking to me.. He was holding me.. just in a different way.. He wanted His little girl to grow up..He wanted to challenge me.. :) Well that Sunday.. I went to church.. and Dr. Henry Wolmarans my awesome pastor.. taught on "The Power of Hope" When we cry out to God saying.. "I want more of You Lord".. we sometimes dont want exactly what He gives us..He shows us a better way.. exposes light on the dark areas in our life.. and desires for us to work with Him to bring.. restoration to that area. But if we ignore it, or say "thats not God" it doesnt look like what I asked.. Him. If we respond in that fashion.. not trusting Him.. we can lose out.. we can lose or Joy. their is joy in serving Him.. their is joy in loving Him! The enemy loves to play with our emotions.. and His focus is to attack our FAITH...our hope..he wants to deprive us of hope... like the Lord forsake us! I had felt that way.. the majority of the weekend..It was as if God.. grabbed me.. and said.. "NO, IM NOT LOSING YOU".. the Holy Spirit gave Dr. Henry Wolmarans an awesome word..to not give up.. that we are at the end.. of a breakthrough..Ahh.. I held on.. and on the other side was peace, joy, hope and wisdom.


Now, this evening.. the Lord has broken into my heart once again.. and revealed His love to me..He is so authentic.. He knows how to break into each one of hearts.. to give us what we need.


Hold on.. to hope..Hold onto faith..



Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen"